Twenty years after everybody else, I’ve finally understood the meaning of incarnational proclamation. Yesterday, after a very long night at the office, I walked towards our local pub, looking forward to meeting up with H. I was still singing along to the cosy Iron and Wine tunes, I grabbed a pint, and engaged with whoever was there.
At the pub, the “God” topic sometimes pops up. I’ve no idea whether it is because H. (an Anglican priest) is there, or whether it would anyway. A bit of both I guess. If anything, H.’s presence just makes the discussion a bit more awkward, as people wonder what he’s thinking and they tend to watch themselves a bit.
So there I was, tired but happy. I buy H. and his friend a pint, and then go and speak to some randoms, I like to let them have their bloke time. I'm staring down my pint, being moderately friendly to the regular semi-strangers I sort-of-know. I was tired and content to be left on my own to think. And then the “God topic” pops out in someone else’s conversation. Steve is the guy I describe as potentially abusive in the comments to this post. Suddenly, out of the blue, Steve states very loudly “God forgives everybody, even sinners like me”.
Right then, Steve’s statement is blood-curdling and makes me want to self-combust. For a second, it makes me want to not be there, it makes me want to stop living. There is so much pain and so much fear in Steve’s tone. But there is nothing wrong with the statement itself. In fact the decent-type Christians at the bar sort of mumble and approve. What is there here to disapprove?
And finally I understand. Whoever the fuck told Steve that stuff without loving him? Who made these words so hollow that they’re not believed? How come he’s not encountered the forgiveness he talks about? I felt like I was never going to "tell" the Gospel to anyone again. If that’s the effect then fuck “telling”. Love first damnit! The Gospel will tell itself when it’s ready.
So there I was, tired but happy. I buy H. and his friend a pint, and then go and speak to some randoms, I like to let them have their bloke time. I'm staring down my pint, being moderately friendly to the regular semi-strangers I sort-of-know. I was tired and content to be left on my own to think. And then the “God topic” pops out in someone else’s conversation. Steve is the guy I describe as potentially abusive in the comments to this post. Suddenly, out of the blue, Steve states very loudly “God forgives everybody, even sinners like me”.
Right then, Steve’s statement is blood-curdling and makes me want to self-combust. For a second, it makes me want to not be there, it makes me want to stop living. There is so much pain and so much fear in Steve’s tone. But there is nothing wrong with the statement itself. In fact the decent-type Christians at the bar sort of mumble and approve. What is there here to disapprove?
And finally I understand. Whoever the fuck told Steve that stuff without loving him? Who made these words so hollow that they’re not believed? How come he’s not encountered the forgiveness he talks about? I felt like I was never going to "tell" the Gospel to anyone again. If that’s the effect then fuck “telling”. Love first damnit! The Gospel will tell itself when it’s ready.
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