Servanthood for beginners

A few years back, H. had the food he offered to someone who had asked him for money thrown back at him in his parish office. He wasn't very impressed, and this topic still crops up regularly in our conversations.

My point is: if they asked you for money why did you offer food?

His point is: I can't support an addiction to drugs or alcohol that any money will most likely fuel.

My point is usually then: actually you don't know that. And even if you're right, you've just robbed that person of their dignity and completely destroyed any chance of further dialogue.

Recently, my brain has been fairly obsessed by the topic of servanthood. I mean I'd been mulling it over for something like 6 months and my thoughts still seem to go nowhere creative. But let's apply it to this situation. If the Queen asked you for money you would not offer her food because it would not be your place to judge. So I decided to apply my servant-of-all obsession to the random street encounters in the streets of Leeds where I get asked for money quite a bit.

Once I fell back into the old mistake and invited a guy who was sitting on a street corner next to the Roman cathedral up for dinner. He said defensively and quite dismissingly "I'd just like some change please". So I said, of course, I'm sorry, and gave him some money. I thought "great, now he thinks I'm one of those mindless punctual dogooders, I bet they're dime-a-dozen in Leeds".

I've bumped into him quite a few times since and have always given him a quid or two since, absolutley unquestioningly, just in sheer obedience, as if it was the Queen asking. He's taken a total liking of me and recently even opened up to quite an extend. I'm the passerby who obeys him.

The other day, I did not have any change and said so. He replied by saying with a huge smile "that's okay, you're alright, you always give me lots!!!"

And still, I'm tiptoeing there. Because none of the dozens of "solutions" I think up in my PhDed head everytime I'm sitting in a boring work meeting may not be appropriate. I guess I'll continue to serve, and to listen too...